American Idol Recap: Talent is an Aphorodisiac  

It seems everyone on the Internet has something to say about American Idol, so here are my two cents, from a sexual standpoint.

Allison Iraheta:

"Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith
Allison has a low raspy voice, and most people find that sexy. It's masculine-like and therefore, naturally associated with being "bad," rebellious, or dominate. That said, she gave the right vibe singing the rock classic "Don't Want to Miss a Thing". But her sultry take on it left me wanting Steven Tyler's clear, shrill version.

Anoop Desai:

"Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams
Anoop's vocals were soulful this week. He was able to capture the mood of the song better than in past weeks. His biggest problem, though, has nothing to do with his singing. His biggest problem is that he's white bread, the "straightest" contestant. (Come on, Anoop. Everyone knows you have to be at least a little queer to make it in show biz.) Polite, hard-working, clean-cut, educated. Yes. A superstar. No. I'm sure he's popular in college. He has the looks and personal qualities that a lot of girls go for. On stage though, he's completely predictable. This week's mentor Quentin Taratino said it best: "You need to rough it up."

Adam Lambert:

"Born to be Wild" by Steppenwolf
Talent is an aphrodisiac. And Adam's talent is infinite. His voice is operatic, grand, soulful, and completely original. His piercing rendition of "Born to be Wild" sent Paula and the audience into an orgasmic frenzy (see video). At this point it doesn't really matter what he wears, whether or not he glams it up with eyeliner, or if he would actually find me sexually attractive: I want him. The other contestants, while very good singers, can't elicit that kind of visceral response. That said, Adam really does deserve the title of "Rock God," as his fans have anointed him.

Matt Giraud:

"Have You Ever Really Love a Woman" by Bryan Adams
Matt did a bluesy, hipster-ish version of this love song. His performance, which included him playing the piano, was mismatched, and the direction of the song was unclear. Was it rock and R&B? Rock and jazz? Was he more Timerlake this week or was he channeling Cold Play? Matt isn't quite memorable because he hasn't developed an identity. And not knowing who you are, in general, is a turn off. He looks great but he has no obvious sex appeal.

Danny Gokey:

"Endless Love" by Diana Ross
As usual Danny's voice was strong and competent. But he, as a performer, has no game, no mystery, no allure. It seems like he realizes it, too, because this week he attempted to sex it up. For "Endless Love" he tossed his signature glasses and stopped shaving apparently. It was all wrong. (At least with the glasses we could easily identify him.) Danny needs to learn that sex appeal comes from within. His exterior "makeover" is too little, too late.

Kris Allen:

"Falling Softly" by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Kris sang a sweet song convincingly this week. His vocals were on target and his small stature added to the vulnerability he exuded during his performence. I'm pretty sure he's the nicest contestant this year. Combine that with his boyish cuteness, and I can easily understand why girls (especially the young ones) scream for him. Guys, though? probably not.

Lil Rounds:

"The Rose" by Bette Midler
Lil Rounds attempted to be "original" this week by putting a gospel spin on this classic ballad. The parts that she re-worked sounded great, but in general, gospel music isn't sexy. That's what Lil's probelm is: She isn't sexy. Though she's in her early twenties, in style and attitude she seems much older. She lacks both flirtiness and fierceness. Maybe after having three kids, she just hasn't had time to get her groove back.