ABORTION: I Want One!!!!

When a woman speaks out against abortion, and I don't mean just for herself, but actually believes no woman should have the right to an abortion, the right to control their own body, I am offended. I believe in choice, and making a personal decision to not believe in abortion, well, that's part of the whole choice thing. But to try to force this way of thinking on other women who do not agree, well, then I am simply ashamed to include said woman as a part of my gender. What little consideration I give these women is to understand that they too have been raised in a "man's" world, but instead of rallying for their own autonomy, they were indoctrinated quite nicely into a society that still values men over women, caving in to an upbringing that relegates them to the role of supporter, servent, and oh so willing to consider the needs of their man over their own needs. In fact, these women probably aren't aware that they have their own needs.

But when a man, an individual who has NO concept of what a pregnancy can do to ones body, who never really has to worry about pregnancy himself outside of how much child support he might have to pay, and who seems to think it is his RIGHT to have and enjoy as much sex and fucking as humanly possible before death or erectile dysfunction occurs, well, then I'm just pissed. Annoyed. Offended that a man even thinks he automatically has the right to weigh in on an issue that has absolutely NOTHING to do with his body being assaulted from the inside out. Of course, common sense says I am not talking about all men here, I know many who agree that a woman's body is hers and hers alone, and personally, I like men. I'm a pretty straight identified woman, so there has to be a few I like. It's those men who think a woman is property, who think a woman's body is there for the taking, is meant to make muffins, do laundry and clean, is there to support a man's needs while he's running for re election ("help me with my tie hon") or watching the game on a Sunday ("get me a beer bitch"). It's those men who feel dinner on the table when they get home is not a nicety or consideration, but a right. And for desert, it is their right to use "their" woman as a masturbatory object, more concerned with their own sexual enjoyment and where they'll unload than with the needs of their partner (hint: the clit, it's up a few inches, and it becomes very unhappy when you avoid it like the plague).

Men are taught that they are supposed to want sex, seek sex out, enjoy sex, find personal pleasure in sex. They are supposed to have fun with sex, in great abundance and with as many partners as possible. Women are taught just the opposite. We are not supposed to want it, although we do. When we admit to wanting it, we are whores deserving of whatever sexual trauma may befall us. When we admit to enjoying it, we are dangerous and must be controlled, put in our place, ridiculed and degraded. When we actually take control of our sexuality, our sex, and make a conscious effort to explore and seek pleasure from our own bodies, from sharing our bodies with another, without worry of pregnancy, like men do as a god-given right, we must be controlled through law and public policy, called "sluts," "easy," told that we are "sinners," heretics going against gods plan. We are the downfall of society, the morally corrupt, the reason this country is failing, and in addition, we are also at fault for every tragic natural disaster that wreaks havoc upon the earth. We are told that there would not be a reason for even needing an abortion if we'd just sit down, cross our legs, and shut up. Just like men do? If we'd just wait until marriage for sex, if we'd just play along with "biology" and the "science" that tells us that we are not SUPPOSED to be as sexual as men, if we'd just admit that woman who want to enjoy their bodies, their sexuality, and the pleasure that sex can provide are actually suffering from a mental disorder or a medical condition that can be remedied through drugs, then we'd see that abortion is a bad thing. We would see that respecting ourselves as individuals is bad because as women, we are MEANT to house more than one person in one body, and so by the very nature of biology, we can never be, and never should be, considered autonomous beings deserving of personal desires, pleasures, wants and needs. We must always put someone else before ourselves. A woman who has sex MUST be made to deal with the consequences.

Just like men do?

I wonder what it is about women who take pleasure in their own sexuality and sex that is such a threat. Is it because we threaten the "traditional" hierarchy of society? Is it because we are far less of threat if we are cloistered away at home with a kid or two sucking on our tits, or so goes the hope? Are we safer when we are not allowed to share our thoughts, opinions, wants and intelligence because we are too occupied with diapers to care anymore? Is that it, a plot to keep us tied to the home maybe (and yes, I know plenty of mothers who are making their mark on the world, but many are also making dinner, doing the laundry, helping with homework. I even know some who enjoy this, but I am not talking about these women)? After all, women still make less than men in the workforce and are are often passed up for promotions because no woman would ever choose a fulfilling career over family like men so often do. I personally believe it's because some men are just not willing to admit that they enjoy their power and status as men, and they simply do not want to share equally. If the playing field is leveled, then how is there going to be a winner and a loser?

And I'm tired of ultra conservative religious fundamentalist politicians and the like promoting these laws because they "respect" the beauty and wonder of every precious multi celled zygote that they feel is entitled to a shot at life. Really? All of them? Because human life is something that we need to fight to protect? So all in favor of healthcare reform say "yea." That's what I thought. Apparently, conservative religious fundamentalist politicians and the like only respect the sanctity of a human life before it's born, not after. Once you're here, you're screwed. Not that rich ultra conservative religious fundamentalist politicians actually need to worry about health care, after all, the tax payers pick up that tab. Oh wait, and what's that you say? Isn't there actually a clause in the new OKLAHOMA bill that allows doctors to not tell a woman if the fetus she is carrying may have a few. . . issues? So a woman could go her whole pregnancy and not have a clue that there might be something wrong with her child. But her doctor will have known, and she can’t even sue him for not sharing this information. Hmmm. . . I wonder who will be picking up the tab for this fun little clause. I see bankruptcy in a few people’s futures. Yes, some might think I sound heartless. The thing is, not every woman would choose to abort a fetus based on the possibility of a disability. Regardless of what a woman might choose to do though, it is still her choice. And I have to wonder if health insurance companies in OKLAHOMA are disappointed that they cannot disqualify an unborn child based on what can only be thought of as possible health conditions so pre existing, they existed before the child did. But I am speaking as a woman who was born with health issues, who under most if not all current health insurance policies qualifies as a pre existing condition (note I did not say I have pre existing conditions, I AM a pre existing condition). And while I love my life, and I have so far been lucky with my health care, I find it supremely ironic that I live in a country that will fight so hard to save me in the beginning, to give me life, but will also fight tooth and nail not to allow me to have what I need to continue enjoying my life and contribute to society to the fullest extent possible. If that's what is considered "respecting human life," I ask all ultra conservative religious fundamentalist politicians and the like to please go respect someone else’s life. I actually told my parents once that if I have so little value in this society that I cannot at any point receive the care necessary to keep me going, then the doctors should've given up at day one because I do not want to live in the hell that will be my life without the health care I need. Why bother saving someone if they will be thrown away by society later anyway? I’m betting OKLAHOMA will be opting to throw away quite a few well established and good people in the future.

Some people do a little fence sitting on the topic of abortion, hedge around it a bit. Why? Because we have the all mighty BITH CONTROL PILL!!!! And my personal favorite, the morning after pill, or Plan B as it's so discreetly called. And a variety of other female centered birth control contraptions. We shouldn't even NEED abortions with these modern miracles. With birth control, every argument that I just made might have a hole or two in it. . . except that birth control does on occasion fail. Oh, and then there's the issue of good ol' George W's poor excuse for sex education (but a really great effort at imposing his own ultra conservative and quite frankly not much fun moral beliefs about sex on a whole country): abstinence-until-marriage "sex" education programs. OOOOOOOPPPSSS!!! We forgot to teach a whole generation about birth control and protection. We in fact actually did such a great job at not informing youth about birth control and protection options that we even told them condoms are not a safe and effective form of protection (when used consistently and correctly, the key phrase), and so an entire generation of kids, who were planning on fucking anyway, not only had sex, but figured why bother with protection of any form? It will just fail and it's not much fun. My head hurts. In addition to not educating people on birth control, there are access issues, resource issues, and confidence issues. If you think that all people have equal access to the same resources and health care, or know how to access what is available in this great equal opportunity country, then I'm also going to assume that you still believe in Santa Claus. Girls in particular in the U.S. are less likely to even dream of being prepared for a first sexual encounter. Why? Because well, they're taught that they're not supposed to want sex, so actually being prepared for it might just be an admission of wanting it, and we can't have that, because that would make them "a little slut" deserving of ridicule and bullying. Maybe even death. And quite simply, sometimes, birth control does not agree with a woman’s body chemistry. Our vaginas are finely tuned machines, and sometimes, adding anything to the mix throws the whole machine out of whack. 

But my favorite: the pharmacist or doctor who refuses to prescribe or fill a prescription for birth control or the morning after pill. Not that these people took an oath to protect their patients health and well being, to respect the patient’s wishes. Nope, doesn't matter. Pharmacist: "You were raped? You're afraid you might be pregnant because rapists are notorious for not using protection? Oh well, too bad, my judgmental moral compass won't allow me to fill your Plan B prescription because every life is sacred, and just the possibility that there might be some quickly multiplying cells in your womb is a blessing my child. And I qualify a few hundred cells as a life that is much more important than yours. You'll come to understand that every rape has a silver lining, and yours will be here in about 10 months to remind you every day of how incredibly handsome your attacker was. Besides, when I meet my maker, he'll probably give me a gold star just to show how much he appreciates my faith in him and my desire to hold up those biblical standards. Would you care to join me for a ritual stoning next week? I discovered my wife wasn't a virgin when we got married, so I have to hold up that belief too. The little slut deserves it" (Pssssstttt. . . there's not actually a whole lot, if anything, about abortion in the bible. I'm sure this will be remedied in the future when some translator "discovers" a new passage, probably somewhere in Leviticus). 

Personally, I once had a doctor who, when I went in for birth control, instead opted to lecture me on how I was approaching 30 and my window of opportunity to have a child was fast closing. At first I thought she didn't hear me right, but after I persisted and she insisted, I wasn't sure if maybe she was one of those women who regretted putting a child before her career and thought I'd be a great patient to transfer this regret on to, or was instead something I consider more sinister: an ultra conservative religious fundamentalist nut job trying to impose her beliefs on me. One of those women who highly offends me. Instead of asking her if she was stupid, I found another doctor.

Ladies, we are under attack. OKLAHOMA, also KANSAS, NEBRASKA; they are not for you, they are against you. In fact, if you’re a woman, I’m pretty sure that OKLAHOMA actually hates you. They do not respect you, they do not see you as an individual capable of making your own desicions about your life and your body, and they do not feel you are deserving of the rights of personal autonomy and equality.

I am going to go dig out my sharpie now, just in case the docs in OKLAHOMA don't have one they can loan me.