SXS 300: Intro to Sexuality Studies Class Blog

For me, being a heterosexual male sexual orientation has always been cut and dry . If you are a woman that likes women you are lesbian, if you are a woman who likes both men and women you are bisexual and if you are a man that likes women you are heterosexual. How a person identifies their sexual orientation in reference to their sexual behavior is inconsistent with the beliefs in the heterosexual community and as I’m learning the global community. After reading, Califia’s, Gay Men, Lesbians, and Sex: Doing it together, my perception has changed drastically. How a person identifies their sexual orientation is more important that the stereotypes that are associated with an individual’s sexual behavior. Sexual orientations such as: gay, bisexual, and lesbian all seem like umbrella terms. Being “Gay” seems to have many facets which can not fit neatly into one category. The negative and or stereotypical beliefs associated with a person’s sexual orientation can only be dissimilated by an individual.

I was really confused when I first read this article. The way society always portrayed sexual orientation was very black and white to me. There was heterosexual and homosexual and what was in the middle of that was bisexual. This article puts all those views into a different perspective. Being heterosexual didn't limit you to only typical heterosexual behaviors defined by society to fit the stereotypical heterosexual being. If you think about it the thought of anal sex used to be the homosexual community, today its has become a very popular act of heterosexual couples as well. The physical acts the women in this article was partaking in didn't define her orientation, how she felt did. It's a new way for me to look at sexual orientation then i ever had before.

I used to think gay people slept with only people of the same sex and straight people slept with people of the opposite sex, but apparently I was wrong. Califa explains that even gay men sleep with women and not because they are trying to fix their problem and become straight, because there is no problem, they are happy being gay and simply do women for the pleasure of sex itself. There are no sentimental attachments, just plain sex. It's not even about if they are male or female, it's about what desirable characteristics they have. I've heard of women having oral sex with other women, but not being lesbian or bisexual, it's sometimes done because they want to look popular and turn other men on. But a lesbian doing it with a gay man and remaining homosexual after heterosexual sex still kind of surprises me. I guess you can never be too sure when people tell you their sexual orientation, because after reading this article, gay can mean different things to different people. Gay as in you only do men or gay as in you do both men and women...I definitely see homosexual and heterosexual not so far apart from each other anymore, there's just so much more to it than I thought.

After reading this article I was very confused. I was used to thinking that if you were a gay man then you would only partake in sexual relations with men and if you were a lesbian then you would only partake in sexual relations with other women. After reading the article, I found my thoughts to be incorrect and after reading the article more thoroughly I realized that this was not the situation. Apparently just because a man is gay or a woman is a lesbian does not mean that he or she cannot have relations with members of the opposite sex. After thinking about this for a while I could sort of get the idea of where this was going. For example, there are heterosexual people (some of who I know personally) who kiss or engage in sexual activities with members of the same sex for fun or just for the hell of it. And that does not necessarily make them gay or lesbian. It all just depends on the person and how they view themselves.

This was the first time I’ve heard of people with gay or lesbian sexual orientation having any sort of physical relations with each other until I read this article. Its easy to put labels on people like homosexual or heterosexual etc, but after reading this article you can decipher there much more to it then just black and white labels. I found it very informative to know that for the narrator who considers herself a lesbian, finds it comfortable having sexual relations with gay men due to the certain comfort level of knowing there are no labels demanding they must be heterosexual etc, but instead just partaking in something they both enjoy. The idea that she would like to see more women being dominate (i.e. male roles) in relationships I also found interesting and thought maybe it had a lot to do with why she gets satisfaction out of being the dominate partner with males all the while partaking in a lesbian relationship. This article proves there are a lot of people out there with many different preferences.

The article by Califa definitely brought to light, for me, the fact that a person's sexual preference can be very fluid. Just because someone is gay or straight doesn't mean they have to have sex with just one group of people. Reading this article makes me feel the same way as I did when I read about the disaster of the John Joan case from John Money. People cannot be forced into identifying as one sex when they are the other so why should we, as society, try to "force" people to have sex with only one specific group? Gender and sexuality are very complex and personal issues for people and its important to remember that there are no "set rules" anymore.

Before reading this article, My belief on the sex is that homosexual people only slept with the people of same sex and straight people slept with the people of the opposite sex. But after reading this article, I learn that our perspective on Sexuality can change over time with our every changing culture and there are different types of homosexuality such as gay, lesbian, faggot and dyke. Also I find out that homosexual have sex with people of the same sex or the opposite sex as long as they enjoy their sex and Sexual orientation depends on people's preferences. I learn that it is alright to have different preferences form other people and enjoy yourself.

The part of the reading that made me thing the most was the discussion of hormonal exposure and its effect on mating behavior in rats. Specifically the concept that some considered that only the rat displaying the typical mating behavior of the opposite sex as being homosexual, followed by argument that if this were applied in human relations, only one partner would be homosexual depending on their role in the sexual act. Thus it begs the question, is one person in the interaction "less" or not homosexual, if they are portraying the biologically standard behavior within the relationship? I think not. If one were making a biological argument and stating that they are acting "heterosexually" throughout intercourse they are ignoring the intent. In same sex interactions, the purpose is obviously not reproduction, therefore the biological drive behind the act is lost beyond normal physical sexual response. It then goes to the purpose being psychological and emotional. In rats these factors don't have to be considered, but in humans, we have multiple motivations for almost everything we do. Therefore a person engaging in the behavior is not purely performing their side as according to the sex's biological role in sex, they are participating for multiple reasons. It just so happens that one has to take the typical and the other the atypical position in order for things to work (in most situations, there are other ways). It doesn't change the sexual orientation based on the position, because there is still an intent to participate in homosexual behavior. That argument may be feasible for rats, but for humans it should not apply.

I recently viewed a documentary film on based on bisexuality. I'd like to tell you a bit about it within my following post. The documentary is entitled "Bi the Way." It is directed by Brittany Blockman and Josephine Decker, who in 2005, decided to take a cross-country road trip to find out what was really going on with bisexuality in America. One interesting comment at the intro begins, "Among young people it's not even like are you gay or are you lesbian? Are you straight? It's more like, do you want lasagna this week or do you want thai food?" haha! But yes, I do understand this sentiment, especially being a single young person cohabitating in such a liberal and "anything goes" city, San Francisco. Many of the youth interviewed believe that the more prevalent bisexuality is in the media, the more it will be prevalent in society. The more accepted it is by soicety, the more comfortable people will be in openly exploring their sexuality. Some questions that were asked are the following: How do we define bisexuality? If a person has the instincts, but they repress them, are they still considered bisexual? If you just act on it, but don't really have the attraction, then how is this categorized? And how do we define "attraction"? Is it genital arousal? an emotional tie? a fleeting fantasy? or a real physical urge? And what's the most defining characteristic of orientation? Does a fleeting though or a emotional connection count? Some people would say yes, while others, no. For many people, love is the definer in people on whether to label as a bisexual or not. Therefore, it's not just the act of sex with both genders, but having had the experience of actually falling in love with both genders. According to Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist at Ruthers University, bisexuality is more common in women than in men, and she thinks this is for a good Darwinian reason...for millions of years women needed a mate, a support system in order to raise their young and if a woman couldn't catch a man, it would have been quite adaptive for her to find another women, particualarly an older woman, to help her raise her young. Quite an interesting concept. She goes on to say that we've evolved three distinctly different brain systems for reproduction: 1)the sex drive/craving of sexual gratification/lust 2)romantic love: the elation, the giddiness, focused attention, obsessive thinking in very early love 3)attachment: the sense of calm and security you can feel for a long term partner. Scientists now know these three brain systems of lust, romantic love, and attachment as 3 different brain circuits and in fact you can feel deep attachment for one person while you feel intense romantic love for somebody else while you simantaneously feel the sex drive for a whole array of other people. She believes it's quite possible to be sexually gay towards people of you own type, yet be able to fall in love with people of the opposite sex as well. So no wonder why people are so confused!!! I highly recommend this film. It was very entertaining and thought provoking as well. I think it would make a viewing for in class as well! Enjoy! (By the way, I found it quite easily under netflix

Earlier today my friend showed me a video about this festival in Japan called the Kanamara Matsuri festival which is translated into the Festival of the Steel Phallus, they don't seem to be ashamed about showing these "private" things to the public like porn sunday. This festival shows the importance of the Penis, Vagina and how fertility is important to them. The thing that to me, it seems like different religions view the sex symbol is a very different way, one side seems to very ashamed of it, (porn sunday) and one side seems to worship it, and think very highly of it. It's like a culture shock. Yet very interesting, i would like to participate in this festival one day. Penis lollipops and statues seem very .. intriguing.