I started writing this blog post by talking about all the anti-sex, negative, hateful rhetoric poured out and leaked onto all of us on a daily basis and decided that was too depressing. We hear enough of it every time we turn on our televisions or open a newspaper. Instead, I want to talk about how wonderful it is to be a homosexual!
I adore being gay. Have you ever been to a gay pride celebration? There's glitter and wigs. Dykes on bikes. OVer the top flaming fags. Hot L-Word femme lesbos. Queer moms and queer dads. Baby gays. Leather-clad homos of all types. Old Lesbians. Muscled beefcake guys in tight Levi's and t-shirts squealing and screaming like little girls. Drag queens, trannies, and dogs in suggestive t-shirts. It's fabulous!
I feel as though we gay folks have been given a wonderful gift that needs to be shared with our straight brothers and sisters. At young ages, we were faced with very serious and deep issues that forced us to struggle through some very rough and dark passages, but we emerged on the other side with a deeper understanding of who we are and what we want in our sex lives and in our relationships. Because we had to face our own sexuality, we are now much more at ease in facing our current and ongoing sexual issue. We are able to speak more openly with our partners about our wants and needs. We construct new types of relationships that fulfill those desires.
I think of how gay men that I know negotiate sexual relationships outside of their primary relationship. Instead of focusing on strict monogamy and fidelity, they have discussions and set rules and boundaries to explore their sexuality while remaining committed to one another. Of course, there are gay men who choose to have a monogamous relationship, but I believe that many of them are better able to have open and frank conversations about those decisions. I also think about how we homos define sex - what behaviors we consider "sex." To us, mutual masturbation, oral sex, fantasy and role playing are all sex. Sure, sometimes we like some penetration but how limiting that is to have that as your only definition of real sex.
When I hear stories of a wife getting upset because her husband masturbates (you never hear it the other way around although I'm sure it happens) or that a relationship has ended because someone cheated on someone else, all I can think about it is how lucky I am to be able to have discussions about these issues and to be open to trying new things. I think those of us who are gay need to think about this amazing gift that has been given to us and share our experiences with our friends and family - maybe not the details of our sex lives. We need to let them know what they are missing because they had the misfortune to have been born straight. Think of how much of a happier place the world would be if everyone could lighten up a bit, expand their ideas, and have a little more fun.
