December 1st is World AIDS day and SFSU is holding an all day event on campus planned by various student organizations. The organizers of the event got in touch with the South-Asian queer group that I'm a recent recruit of. We've been asked to talk about the various sexual health issues that effect South-Asian LGBT individuals living in the bay area.

There's an obvious lack of dialogue in the South-Asian community as far as discussing pleasure and sexuality is concerned. Sexuality is too personal and private to be discussed in a social situation. Cultural norms and taboos limit sexuality to be discusses or acted only behind closed doors under a heterosexual marital union.

In this situation, how is one supposed to 'admit' to their sexual escapades and get tested? LGBT folks have to deal with internal feelings of shame and guilt and added fear of being ‘outed’ while pursuing testing or education. Then we also run into the issue of lack of familial support for HIV positive folks. There are certainly no arenas for South-Asian folks to seek sexuality information from. Parents don’t talk about sex with their kids; it’s a hush-hush topic at school and no priest or swami talks about sexuality in their pravachan (religious discourse) assemblies.

Our...

Over the summer this year, I volunteered at a non-profit in Delhi that provides education and after care services to underprivileged children in the National Capital Region of India. 

"So, we want our teachers to talk about sex to children 12 and above", the Director of NOIDA center told me. "We've never done it before but I think it's time we incorporated it in the curriculum", she continued. 

All excited about my new endeavor, I met the two teachers designated to facilitate sex ed at the school. "We've never done this before", they both reiterated. "And frankly, I'm a little uncomfortable with this new assignment", added one of them. After talking to both of them for another 15-20 minutes, I got a sense that both of them were uncomfortable discussing sexuality issues. At the same time, they were convinced that discussions on gender, reproduction and sexuality are much needed, especially in the community...

In our graduate seminars, we talk a lot about race and color, including how whiteness is cherished and celebrated in and outside the United States.

These class discussions and other conversations with my fellow students and friends made me think about the various fairness products that are marketed and sold back home. (In no way am I trying to be the voice of my nation. These are just MY views on such 'beauty' products.)

Here's a fine example of what I'm talking about:

So clearly, once you're beautiful (i.e. fair, white) you can achieve anything! Name, fame, money and power! You can realize your inner dreams and talents 'cos opportunities are endless!

So what happens if you're not fair? Well, basically then you're nobody! You're boring, unwanted and invisible. Your life sucks! (and not in a pleasurable way!)

One of my cousins back home is looking for a bride. Well actually, his parents are looking for a bride for him. For those of you who're not familiar with this concept, it's called an 'arranged marriage'. It's called 'arranged' because it’s the parents who decide who their daughters and sons should marry. It's a cultural thing. My parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and pretty much everyone else I know (except my sibling, who got married to the guy she was dating in college) had an arranged marriage. No dating, no courtship, no "pre-marital sex (:P)" - Just a few lunches, dinners or family events followed by a wedding ceremony.

It was actually a few years ago when I first started thinking about issues of consent, love, marriage, agency, family structure and gender roles in a "traditional Hindu marital union". To be honest, I was quite disturbed by the whole idea!

"How can someone decide to spend the rest of their life with a person they've just met?" or,

"Why would she/he agree to a marriage like that? It's insane!" or perhaps,

"Wow! Didn't they at least wanna...