I have given a fair amount of thought to monogamy.  Growing up, I never envisioned that people could have consensually non-monogamous relationships, much less why they would necessarily want to, or how it could be “fair” for everyone.  No one ever told me I could have anything except the heteronormative dream, complete with a job, husband, a mortgage and a couple of kids.  To be fair, no one ever insisted that I had to have that either.

I am studying sexuality at San Francisco State, and our cohort designed and taught our own class this semester.  We wanted to explore issues or themes that other classes did not get a chance to discuss. One of our themes was “sex in practice”, and we invited three guest speakers to come talk to us about non-monogamy and polyamory.  I was really excited to hear what the speakers had to say where they could fill in the gaps in what I know about the subject.  I wanted to learn more about their personal experiences with non-monogamy, and to further challenge my own thinking about my relationship models, past, present and future.

            Our presenters were all...