I was a little nervous and didn’t really know what to expect. Even though I’ve been “in the scene” for several years, and have attended play parties, bar-b-ques, workshops, retreats, and other educational opportunities, I’ve never been to a “munch”.  A munch is a low-key, informal gathering of like-minded kinksters. There is no overt play at a munch, and the dress code is informal. It’s an opportunity to meet local people in your friendly neighborhood kink community.

For myriad reasons, I have been less inclined to play in public spaces in San Francisco since I moved here about 2 years ago. Partly because I’ve been so busy with graduate school studying sex, who has time to actually participate in a lively sexual subculture as BDSM? So I took one more step into the scene and guess what? It was really nice. The group reserves the back room of a family-style restaurant, where the doors can be closed during the introductions. The people who attended were all very nice to me, and curious as they had not seen me at any events. The first assumption was that I was a newbie… if only they knew! But I squashed that assumption right away and explained I was from Southern California and hadn’t gotten my feet wet up here yet.

To an outsider, or “vanilla person”, it would have looked...