I have been thinking a lot about gender lately and how we force gender on our children. 

I work in retail, and while I was organizing baby items by color (and also by gender, pink and yellow are for girls, blue and green are clearly for boys - but that's a whole seperate story), I overheard a mother talking to her kids about the toys they wanted to buy. Apparently her young son, probably about 5 or so wanted to get a tea set, just like his older sister. Our tea sets are particularly popular right now, especially because they are bright pink, have disney princess pictures on the side of the teapot and are covered in glitter.

Anyway, this boy tells his mom that he wants to get this tea set too and the mom tells him no, explaining that it is a girl toy. The little boy starts throwing a fit, whining and almost in tears over how he really wanted this toy. The frustrated mom grabs the toy from his hand, gets really close to his face -practically touching noses - and screams "Do you want to look like a faggot?"

The boy begins to cry hysterically and the mother keeps reprimanding him, telling him to "stop crying" and be "a big strong man".

This is a common script, in fact I hear it a lot in my store from parents trying to keep their children gender-apropriate. To boys, it's always the emphasis that they need to be tough and be strong men, this of course excludes crying or whining. Girls on the other hand are constantly being reminded that...