Playing It Safe: Fixing Labels on Sexuality  

Playing It Straight highlights a contemporary problem: How to determine a man’s true sexual identity. At the end of each episode, the woman pleads: “I have to ask, before you go, are you gay or are your straight?” The evicted men are forced to respond one way or the other.

In the context of a wider, late 1960s counter-cultural claim that the personal is political, the gay liberation movement promoted the idea that coming out of the closet would offer a major step towards ending discrimination. In contrast, straight men and women have never been required to make a public statement of their sexual orientation. In mainstream culture, heterosexuality is taken for granted.

Increasingly, however, this presumed heterosexuality is no longer such a sure thing, particularly for men. Recent changes in acceptable images of masculinity have resulted in the construction of a new type of man: the “metrosexual.” Now, heterosexual men can show an interest in clothes and looks; they can desire to be the object of the sexual gaze. As these men willingly adopt traits traditionally thought of as feminine, however, they too are being forced to come out of the closet. Now, they must declare loudly and proudly, “I am straight.”

The recent reality television series, Playing It Straight, dramatizes this new social situation. A woman who seeks romance with a male partner must evict those contestants she believes are gay in order to be left with one who is straight. If she is successful, she will share the prize money (and possibly her life) with the last man standing. If a gay guy manages to out-flame her, he will win all the money as a reward for the success of his deceit.

Unsurprisingly, this program plays on traditional understandings of homosexual men as hidden menaces who threaten to disrupt society. Gay men are represented as seeking to undermine desired heterosexuality. They risk ruining a woman’s dream. In contrast, the heterosexual man never lies. Only he can offer a woman the future she wants.

While Queer Eye for a Straight Guy flaunts stereotypes of gay men, Playing It Straight shows that it is not so easy to tell gay from straight. The program’s web site includes an image of a “gaydar.” This scale pretends to measure men as as “breeder,” “metrosexual,” “sensitive,” “questionable,” “effeminate” or “flaming.” Here, liking musicals, shopping, moisturizer, or Cher signifies effeminate homosexuality. In contrast, a fondness for mountain bikes, football, boxing, and cars tips the scale toward “heterosexual breeder.”

Of course, there are no overtly flamboyant or camp men on display in Playing It Straight—that would defeat the purpose of the show. Instead, the men all participate in “manly” pursuits, while also looking after their appearance and taking pride in their bodies. What used to be considered feminine vanity now identifies them as “normal” metrosexual men in today’s gender-relaxed world.

In order to be certain of their sexual orientation, therefore, we are encouraged to scrutinize these men more intensely. As the woman analyzes every aspect of their behavior and conversation, so too must the audience. We, the voyeurs and judges of sexuality, are compelled to decide: “Are you gay or are you straight?”

The Sexual Binary

In pitting straight against gay, Playing It Straight is saying you are either one or the other, and nothing in-between or different altogether. There is no room for the participants to deviate from this binary of sexuality. Announcing yourself to be gay or straight is the result of discipline. It is a reaction to the intense cultural pressure to understand our desires and pleasures within already established frameworks.

In addition, Playing It Straight reaffirms the stability of these sexual orientations. Being gay and being straight are not represented as fluid expressions of sexual taste. When we come out as gay or as straight, we declare that our sexual desires and pleasures will not stray from the path of the sexual orientation we assign ourselves. We may be free to participate in pleasures at will, but the kinds of pleasures we can enjoy legitimately are determined by the sexual orientation to which we say we belong.

“I am straight,” affirms an agreement to erase all homosexual desires and behaviors from one’s life, forcing the person to continually survey their wants and pleasures to ensure they never stray. “I am gay” works similarly to erase any hint of heterosexuality. When we comply with cultural demands to be either gay or straight, we relinquish our ability to become other than what we are expected to be when it comes to matters of sex.

Announcing one’s sexual orientation—as gay or straight—must also be viewed as a culturally enforced confession. When we declare a particular sexual position, we proudly inscribe on our body a fixed sexuality visible to others. We tell them what we are and leave ourselves open to their assessment and criticism. We hope that we can live up to the expectations and demands of the sexual identity we choose for ourselves.

Playing It Straight seeks to reaffirm homosexual and heterosexual categories in a culture where such categories are no longer so clearly visible and, in many cases, are no longer valid. While we may have accepted a blurring of the gender divide, there appears to be no desire to blur the divide we imagine exists between homosexuality and heterosexuality. Instead, we seek to know with ever more certainty the truth of these orientations. Playing It Straight gives us comfort and security in knowing who we are. It allows us to play the sexual game safely.

*Dean Durber is a Ph.D. candidate in the Department of Communication and Cultural Studies at Curtin University in Perth. His thesis considers the silencing of non-homosexual male-male sex within the gay liberation movement. His publications include a novel, Johnny, Come Home (Marginal Eyes Press, Perth, Australia, 2002) and works in such anthologies as The Best Gay Erotica 2003 (Cleis Press, 2002), and Straight? Volume 2 (Alyson, 2003).