The Key to Enlightenment  

At six-foot-five, two hundred and twenty odd pounds, ex-marine Jeff Key could easily palm my face like a basketball but shakes my hand instead. He is dressed in rumpled jeans and a purposefully disheveled T-shirt, and I notice he’s handsome. He seems to take pity on my five foot two (read: one) frame and suggests we sit down as we begin our interview. I’m hoping that without the benefit of his legs, our torsos might better match up. But who are we kidding? The poor guy was hunched over the entire time.

We wasted no time getting into it; didn’t have much of a choice, really, what, with his press agent looming around the corner in a very non discreet way. But who could blame the man for doing his job? Ever since Jeff Key joined the Marines at the age of thirty-four, shipped-off to Iraq in 2003, returned from service after an injury, “came out” to the guys in dark suits, was discharged by the guys in dark suits, got in cahoots with Cindy Sheehan (speaking out on a war he now believes to be fraudulent), well, the press has sort of been interested.

Completely aware of the myriad ways his story has presented itself in the media and now the film, Key doesn’t feel that Semper-fi is about a marine or a gay marine for that matter.

“This story, my story, in all the ways it’s being told, I hope that it’s a story of my spiritual epiphany, of my spiritual journey against the backdrop of a war,” said Key, now thirty-nine. “War,” at least where he’s concerned, isn’t limited to his experiences in the Middle East.

“Long before I had gone to Iraq I had been to battle. Any gay kid who grows up in America now, from the time they can walk, they start to learn whose my enemy, how do they think, how can I maneuver around them to survive?”

I can’t help but ask him then, why join the Marines, an outfit known for its “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy? How does an openly gay man decide to partake in an institution that from 1994 to 2005 discharged six hundred fifty-five (gay) marines based on “Don’t ask, Don’t tell”? After twenty some years, why go back into the closet?

“Patriotism,” he said.

Even with the best intentions, the story of Barry Winchell—the infantryman who was harassed for dating a transgender woman and was eventually murdered by a fellow soldier—wasn’t lost on him either: “I knew about Winchell, getting his brains bashed out by his fellow soldiers (for being gay). But getting killed, even sometimes horribly, is a possibility of being a marine. Every marine straight or gay knows, ‘I may die a horrible death if I do this, but I’m going to do this based on my principles.’

“My living a self-actualized, happy life around my sexuality is part of my mission; it’s what makes up my principles, so to speak. And if I die because of it, I’d rather die than live without having that type of integrity.”

Listening to Key speak, it was hard not to feel selfish. I mean, before enlisting, the guy had it pretty good, doing the whole “actor in LA” thing, hanging out with friends, going to the clubs. What was the factor that made him give all that up for Camp Pendleton, where the most positive sentiment seems to stop at “you will be sore, tired, and hungry, but you will persevere”? No one said auditioning was easy, but come on.

Of all the answers Key could have given me, “being gay” was not in my top three.

“Being gay is not who I am,” Key explained. “But there was a long time when I undervalued what it meant in my life. I think a lot of gay men go through that, you know, really working hard not to be the stereotype and all the rest. (Joining the Marines) was one more way to prove (my masculinity). Of all the noble reasons, maybe that was kind of a selfish one.”

(If it wasn’t clear enough before, it was remarkably clear now: Jeff Key is a much better person than I am. I made a mental note to join the Christians Children's Fund. Immediately.)

Other people—the unenlightened if you ask me—are not impressed, though. Some go as far as saying that Key’s “coming out” was nothing more than an act of cowardice. A strategic plan, if you will, to avoid being sent back to Iraq for a second tour. I mentioned this to Key, along with a blog posting I found on LifeLike Pundits.com: “Aaron” accused Key of being somewhat of a charlatan.

Filling his seven fans in, Aaron cited Key’s rejection of “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” as “archaic and stupid” given that marines, by design, are trained to take orders. Quoting Key, “If they are ordered to keep their mouths shut and not harass the person who speaks truthfully about who they are, they will follow that order. That’s what marines do.” Aaron blogged back: “Well, Marine Jeff Key, you were ordered not to tell and you didn't follow that order. So much for your training to take orders.”

I could almost hear the "nanny nanny poo poo" coming off the page.

I looked over at Key, not really knowing what his response would be. It's an odd thing, talking smack to someone's face, even if it was from Aaron and not from me. Luckily, when it comes to uncomfortable situations, this was hardly the “be all end all” for Key.

“”Don’t ask, Don’t tell,” he clarified, “is the policy of the United States military and is not, in fact, an order.”

As he continued to rip Aaron a new one, he told me about the oath of enlistment, how it maintains that those who serve are not bound to follow unlawful orders. This would be the first and only time over the course of our twenty odd minutes together that I caught a glimpse of Jeff Key the marine.

Which said nothing of his sentiment toward the corps.

“I love the Marine Corps. I love the culture of the Marine Corps,” Key said. “(Even after being discharged) I still love my fellow marines. They’re a great bunch of guys. I’ve been to their weddings and now they’re going to come to mine. I hang out with their kids.”

I wondered what President Bush would make of all this. I wondered if he knew about the fifteen troops that died in Iraq over the past three days. Did he think about their patriotism, how they gave themselves for this country, or who they slept with the other day?

Key obviously had contemplated the recent loss of lives. “If Americans can ask themselves ‘Are we a country that governs itself based on the ideas and principles of liberty and justice for all of us, a country which ceases to allow corporate interests to arbitrate where our military is used or misused,’ then I can’t imagine there’s more valuable blood ever shed from an American uniform.

“If I couldn’t believe that they died doing something that will ultimately help us, then I couldn’t keep doing what I’m doing.”

And that’s where critics think they have him pegged; if he wasn’t fighting in Iraq, what exactly was Key doing? Even better, what was he doing to support the troops?

“I’m sick of hearing ‘support the troops,’” he fought back. “They’re meaningless words unless you act on them. If I thought I could save one more life by being in (the Marines), I’d still be in. I knew that I could do more doing what I’m doing now; talking to millions of people about ending this war and taking care of the troops.” He is accomplishing just that through the Mehadi Foundation, a public charity he established to aid veterans of the war in Iraq and Iraqi citizens.

Said Key, “I just have to believe that the fight is worth fighting. Not necessarily that I’m going to change the world, but that so the world doesn’t change me. You know what I’m saying?”

I think I do. He’s inviting me to his wedding, right?

Semper-fi: One Marine’s Journey
Saturday, June 23, 1 p.m.
Castro Theatre, 429 Castro Street (between Market and 18th Street), San Francisco
Frameline31 San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival